4 Weeks Post-Op...Feeling Blue

I haven't posted much lately because I haven't honestly been in the mood. Being at home, sitting on the couch for 90% of the day is driving me a bit crazy. I decided to see a few clients this week (a manifestation of my craziness?), and see how I felt. Giving the massage was actually pretty good - moving around the table was a bit awkward, but not so much to deem it a wash. The problem was that the whole experience start to finish was so taxing on me: getting to the office, getting upstairs with the scooter, setting up, doing the massage, re-setting the room, getting back downstairs, and getting home. By the time that whole thing was over, my foot was fat and purple, aching more than usual, and I was simply drained.

The process was also taxing on my mental state - getting around takes twice as much time and energy. Every time I move around I am reminded of this fact, which makes me even more frustrated and irritable.

I had a nice 4th - Shawn's sister and her kids were visiting overnight. After having a nice bbq dinner on the deck, we walked/scootered to Ocean View Park to watch some fireworks over the Boardwalk. On the way home, though, I managed to tip over and catch my fall with my casted foot. It did not feel good! It was pretty sore that night and the next day, and I was worried I jarred some of the hardware loose. I let the doc know on Monday, and he had me come in for another Xray on Tuesday. Good news: everything is still in place. The break in my bone, however, looks no different to me. :/

The nerve pain/irritation persists. Always much worse at night. I have a feeling

it's not really going to get better until I am mobile. This thought also contributes to my generally sad state. Guess you could say I'm in the throes of a classic pity party, of which I feel somewhat shameful...which leads me to feeling even lower. I know this will pass, and that my mood will change. But right now I feel like a little kid who is in a state somewhere between having skinned her knee and wanting mama's sympathy and affection...and throwing a tantrum because of great injustices she is suffering (like being left out of other kids' games and not being able to get her underwear on easily).

But hey, only 8 more weeks to go.