3 Weeks Post-Op: Cast Day!

I took a long bath last night and cleaned as much of my leg and foot as possible while not getting the stitches wet. Shawn even helped to scrub the iodine off my foot, and massaged coconut oil into my leg and toes. We were lovin' that leg up as much as possible before it was to be sealed up in the cast for 6 weeks!

More lucky green!

Doc took another x-ray today, took the stitches out, and got me all casted up. Green was the only color he had! It matches my toes anyway. :) It hurt having my foot positioned into a 90 degree ankle - he wants it in neutral while it's fully immobilized. 

Then the not-so-great news. He had told me before that I could probably work while in a cast, so I had felt kind of optimistic about that possibility. I was surprised he had said that because he does know that I'm a massage therapist by trade. Seems like it would be a difficult endeavor in a cast! He had said that I would probably be able to bear some weight in it. Fast forward to today and well...yeah, technically I can. The tiniest bit though...as in, I can only basically have it touching on the floor while I'm using crutches. :/ Not exactly the kind of "bearing weight" I had in mind. 

Grow little bone, grow!!

He had told me before I'd be 6 weeks in a cast. Today he said it's most likely that I will need to be immobilized for a total of 12 weeks. So, three weeks down and, WAIT...that leaves 9 WEEKS in a cast?!! He was a bit vague in answering that question at first. He pretty much said it will depend on what the X-rays look like. He needs to see a good callus formed before any mobility will be allowed. He'll check again 4 weeks from now and we'll go from there. I may end up doing 6 weeks in the cast, then another three in a boot. 

Now: there's the ever-pressing work issue. I'm kind of freaking out now. I'm going to try a practice session on Shawn in another week or so. See what it's like maneuvering around the table with the scooter. Maybe if I can deliver a half-way decent massage, and I feel physically ok doing it, then I could possibly charge my clients a slightly reduced fee for their sessions. I don't know how we'll make it without me working for another two months. If you're reading this, and you feel called to help, I would so appreciate financial support via my Indiegogo campaign. I've raised about 65% of my goal, which is the equivalent of about a month of my income + a little extra for medical expenses. Thank you!

Well, overall I'm feeling pretty ok. Still a long road ahead, but I've passed the first milestone. Onward...

Reassured by the Great Dr. D

Saw Dr. D today and I feel SO MUCH BETTER. After doing some nerve tests/assessments and checking me over, she's pretty confident that everything I'm feeling is a result of the popliteal nerve block probably traumatizing the nerves behind my knee and the swelling in my foot putting pressure on the nerves. (I was quite swollen behind my knee) No sign of serious nerve damage, or other serious pain condition like RSD. 

Popliteal Fossa 

She pointed out that I most likely also did some soft tissue damage in the foot itself which would create swelling and pain, too. She pointed out some bruising on the top and inside of my foot that I hadn't really even noticed much. Recommends that I ice behind my knee and do some gentle lymphatic drainage strokes on the back of my lower leg. She did a laser treatment to the top of my foot, treated the popliteal nerves with ultrasound, massaged some lavender and valerian oil into my foot, and recommended peptidase to help control inflammation. 

I hope that anyone else who stumbles across this blog and is going through a similar experience, takes comfort in reading this. The surgeons don't tell you much - they are looking at the injury through one lens, albeit an important one. But it helps to get another health care practitioner's perspective and input. I'll most likely be getting some acupuncture soon as well...treat it from all angles.

Stay tuned for the cast update...tomorrow for sure! Any votes on what color I should get? :)

Getting on My Nerves

My nerves are getting on my nerves. I've been feeling incredibly frustrated and concerned about the nerve irritation in my foot. I still don't really feel any pain around the surgical site. It's all in my toes and on the inside top of my foot. It is such an odd array of sensation: like I'm wearing a really tight glove (squeezing/tightness) made of paper (dry feeling) over a sunburned foot (burning) that is turning to wood from the inside out (deep stiffness) after having been bashed into a door repeatedly (aching/very sore and tender). And that's what it feels like from the inside, but then it's also somewhat numb. Like I'm feeling all those sensations right after Novocaine is wearing off. Oh yeah, and sometimes in the midst of all that, I get sharp, painful electric shock-like sensations shooting through my toe and/or foot. 

I'm trying very hard to sit with the notion that all this is due to the nerves simply being traumatized from being exposed, stretched, and possibly bruised. I can live with that, knowing that eventually they will heal. But I'm feeling scared that it is more serious, as in permanent damage. I've been reading WAY too many stories online. There are so many people who talk about having these nerve problems for many years after their surgery. In fact, it's hard to find any people whose story of ORIF ankle surgery has a happy ending. 

I have an appointment tomorrow with my chiropractor, whose skills and expertise I trust implicitly. I'm hoping she can help shed some light on my symptoms.

In the meantime, I think I need more meditation/visualization and less lurking in online forums. My mood has darkened in the last few days, so I need to make an effort to stay positive. 

Work, Play, and a Birthday

Wednesday, June 24
Kelly came over and we engaged in some adult parallel play...that is, we sat on either end of the couch with our laptops getting some work done. Good times.

She left around 1, and I worked until about 4. Took a break before doing a software training with a new employee at 6. My arse was getting seriously sore from sitting all day! 

My mood started to head downhill after dinner, as my foot was really hurting. I'm feeling really frustrated - it's not the actual injury site that hurts. I'm having a lot of nerve-type pain across the top of my foot and the big toe. Last night it felt like my big toe was actually broken...so sore. I took two painkillers and they barely took the edge off. 

I made the mistake then of doing some Internet research on this type of post-op pain, and ended up in a forum of people all telling their horror stories of having this type of pain after a similar surgery. Most of the people recounted stories of being 1-many years post-op and STILL having debilitating nerve pain in their feet and toes. I was very sad by the time I went to bed, worried that this might happen to me. 

Thursday, June 25
Today is my son's 14th birthday! I am so proud of him, and feel so blessed to be his mama. 

Happy Birthday, Cole!

I made blueberry pancakes for breakfast, and got my daughter off to camp (I actually drove her there in Shawn's truck - my foot felt like it was going to explode by the time I got home!). I'll be settling in for a day of video games with Cole - the only gift he seems to want from me besides cash. ;)

Really wishing I could get outdoors more. Being cooped up in the house is not good for my mental state. I'm longing for a walk in the forest, a romp at the beach with Iggy, a climb up a mountain! The road to recovery is feeling overwhelmingly long. I need to stay out of Internet forums related to pain conditions and surgery - that's certainly not helping matters.

Well...signing off for the day to spend some time with my kid. That is something to be happy about. :)

No Cast for You!

Aw, c'mon man!

Well...turned out NOT to be cast day after all. :( The doc said that some of the sutures still look too open, and he wants them all to look good and closed. He wants to wait another week to put the cast on. He did say that surgical site looks really good and is healing nicely, so nothing to worry about there. I still have all this residual nerve irritation in my toes and the top of my foot. He's keeping an eye on it, but said it may take 1-2 months to go away. Not really the outcome I had hoped for today, but it is what it is. Minor setback.

If I am upright for more than 10 minutes or so, my foot starts to swell more and it gets very uncomfortable. So more couch time for me. Shawn and I did, however, make an excursion to Costco. The scooter cruises on those polished cement floors! Thankfully it wasn't crowded (shockingly - is Costco ever not crowded?), so we were out of there in half hour or so. A pretty easy mission. 

That's today's news, folks. Tomorrow is another day closer to being healed!

A Pedi and Sunshine

Monday, June 22
I had grown tired of staring at my fat toes still slightly tinged with iodine. I had been contemplating getting a pedicure, but thought I'd wait until I got the cast put on. Then Kelly texted this morning to see if I wanted to get a pedicure today, and since I had nothing else on my empty calendar I figured why not. 

The place we went had us wait quite a while, and my foot was growing fatter by the minute. Why do they always take you right into those places, not telling you that it's actually going to be a 25-minute wait? Ah, no matter -  what else did I have to do?!

Green toes = Good luck?

While I  had my toes painted Lucky Green, Kelly and I read trashy celebrity gossip magazines and talked shop. We should have written the visit off - business meeting, right?

We went back to Kelly's house and sat in her yard, basking in the sun and drinking lemonade. More shop and general life talk. Headed home around 4 and resumed my post on the couch, watched an episode of The Good Wife. Snuggled Iggy. Had dinner with Shawn, watched two episodes of True Blood, and called it a night. Tomorrow is cast day!

Margaritas = Bone Healing

I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that margaritas were shown to increase bone healing by 42%. Ok, maybe it was an article in The Onion. But nevertheless, it sounded like a reasonable theory anyway. Shawn and I decided on this beautiful sunny summer day that margaritas were in order. All we were lacking were limes. Shawn dutifully undertook that mission and returned a short while later with the essential ingredient. (it could be argued that tequila is the essential ingredient, but I'll leave that up to you to debate). We both looked up recipes, and decided to put two of them to the test. The primary difference was that mine called for simple syrup, while his did not. We both whipped up our own (an easy task now that I have leg rest), and did the taste test. It was concluded that they were equally yummy, it all depended on your preference for the sweet/bitter balance. Mine was a bit sweeter, but packed more tequila punch. His was more bitter, thus making the drink seem to pack equal boozy punch.

End result - two satisfying drinks enjoyed while sitting in the sun and soaking up good company too. Aaahhh.

There was work to be done, though. We headed to the office for a quick check-in, and then went to clear out my other VBT office at Toadal Fitness. For those not in the know, VBT has decided to close our annex at Toadal Fitness. Kelly and I decided to focus our energy and intention on building the practice at the main office. We intend to fill the books there (we have so many talented therapists with SO MUCH to offer - book an appointment today! Shameless plug, I know.), and start utilizing the beautiful downstairs space by offering more classes: meditation, core strengthening, and yoga tailored to beginners and those working with injuries. (But I digress...) 

We cleared out the space, dropped stuff at the main office, and returned home. Shawn hit the showers, I hit the fridge for another margarita. We have about an hour before we head to dinner with two of my oldest (not in age, but length of time I've know them) clients, Tash and Aaron. They have kindly offered to make us dinner. Tash insists that we not bring anything, "or else I'll break your other leg." Her words. She's a lady not to be reckoned with, so we shall acquiesce to her demands and show up with only our good spirits in tow. 

That's the news for the day. Thanks for tuning in. 

The SCOOTER Arrives!

You heard that right. Shawn made a trip to Horsnyder's today (because he wanted to feel REALLY young!), and rented me a scooter to use instead of crutches. Hallelujah!!

Nothing screams cool like a knee scooter

It makes all the difference in getting around. No more holding the weight of my leg up when I'm standing (which isn't much right now anyway...but it's still awesome), and I can actually carry something. Right now, I place the thing I would be carrying on something else...crutch forward two steps...reach to move the item and place it on something else...crutch forward...move item...until I get it to where I need it to be. I swear, it's exhausting just to bring a class of water into the living room. Now I'll be doing doughnuts in the living room. Just kidding, Mom. I swear I won't do that. Now Shawn and the kids on the other hand...

A client, Mark, brought us lentil soup this morning. Another two clients, Monica and Steve, sent flowers and cookies. Another client, Susan, sent me flowers. And my Indiegogo fundraising campaign is doing so well! I am so blown away by the generosity of everyone. I seriously can't thank all of you enough.  Shawn saw the page this morning as we were having our coffee on the couch, and he said, "Honey, you are truly blessed. Your people are amazing." I welled up because I feel that sentiment in my heart so strongly, too. I AM blessed. 

Get it!

I'm now enjoying this beautiful sunny day. Sitting on the deck all propped and iced, watching Shawn tear up the ground to re-locate a big planter box. I love it when he gets all amped up about the yard. Someone has to do it. Whenever Kelly would give me hell for my dying/seriously ailing plants, my answer would be, "Girl, I'm lucky the KIDS get fed and watered, much less the plants!" Shawn takes such loving care of our little yard. He's made it into a cozy little outdoor space.

My pain level decreases daily. I only take a painkiller at night now so I can sleep. My spirits are definitely up with the sun shining on me, and having Shawn around for company. 

Now off to practice my doughnuts...(I said I was kidding, Mom!)

Are We There Yet?

Monday, June 15 (First Day Alone)
Shawn returns to his regular work week today. He left the house stocked and clean for me, and most importantly, left coffee. I slept until 9 or so, crutched my way to the kitchen, and managed to actually make myself some eggs and toast - without falling over! Victory.

Proceeded to gather my pillows, an ice-pack, laptop, phone, water, and meds. My recovery station. I checked email, contacted clients who hadn't heard the news yet, and contemplated tackling some work projects. My contemplation ended at that - I just wasn't up for getting right into work mode just yet. Lord knows there will be plenty of time for such nonsense. 

So I watched two movies and napped instead. My friend Jen stopped by for a little bit and brought a snack. Having company is really nice. Especially when they bring food. :)

Shawn had to fix his brakes after work, so he didn't get home until after 8. It was a LONG day alone. I have new sympathy for our dog, Iggy, who spends many hours home alone. If I could have, I too would have been whining and jumping all over Shawn the second he walked in the door. YOU'RE HOME!!! PET ME!! TALK TO ME!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!! Haha. Another upside to this experience is that I will vow to get our pooch more exercise before I leave the house and when I return. And more toys. And leave some music playing for him. Poor guy. I get it now, buddy.

Tuesday, June 16

Work never ends

Kelly came over today for about 4 hours. We are working with a new project management system, so it was good to sit together to figure out how it works. And having company made the day SO MUCH BETTER. (That's a hint to my local friends...you're welcome to come on by most anytime!)

She made us lunch and brought provisions. I actually felt semi-normal. Although my arse is really starting to hurt from so much sitting. As soon as I get that cast on, I'm going to start some upper-body exercises. I feel like I'm turning to mush. 

Wednesday, June 17
Today was a rough day. Despite having my ankle elevated ALL the time, the swelling persists and is SO uncomfortable. My emotional state is fragile...nights are the worst. I start to feel so weary and stir-crazy. The road ahead seems very long. I know it will probably go by fairly fast once I'm more settled into a routine, but aaaaaahhhhhgggghh. That's how I feel about it right now. 

My toes were stark white/slightly purple by the time I went to bed. I woke with my big toe ON FIRE and aching. I took a Norco and two IBUs, and they barely took the edge off. I read for about 30-minutes at 2am, and that helped take my mind off the pain. I was awake most of the night. What the hell is this misery?? No one ever mentioned burning toes!! I'll Google that when I'm more coherent...

Thursday, June 18 (DMV Day - Hooray for an Outing!)
You know things are bad when you're even the slightest bit excited about going to the DMV. :/ I needed to get my new car registered and thankfully I had an appointment. My friend Paul so good-naturedly agreed to take me. 

The pain from last night had subsided quite a bit. I took another pain med in the morning. I might have been happy to get out, but I most certainly did not want to end up at the DMV in abject misery (like everyone else there, injured or not).

It went just fine - I was done in about 20 minutes! Check that off the list. 

View From the Couch

Spent the rest of the day watching a lot of The Good Wife. I just started this series at the suggestion of my mom. I really wanted to catch up on True Blood, but Shawn wants to see it too so I agreed to wait and watch it with him. As a sign of my true love for him, I also agreed to not binge-watch Orange is the New Black. Now THAT is love. And an extreme show of will power. If you have any other movie or series recommendations, hit me up. I have thus far watched Still Alice, Boyhood, and The Prize Winner of Defiance, OH. My kid can get me anything I want (ssshhhh....) so let me know what your favorites are. 

And I'll take any book recommendations you have too. I'm not really loving my current book, so send me your favorites!

Friday, June 19 (Dressing Change + More Drugs Day)
I'm almost out of Norco, and after that heinous night I had, I am not going to run out. Doc said I needed to come in for a prescription. He did another dressing change while I was there, and it looks good (don't worry, I won't post another icky sutures picture). 

I asked about the toe burning. He said the nerve may have been bruised due to the nerve block I had during surgery. The nerve that powers the toe isn't anywhere near the surgical site, so it's not likely to be any real damage. He tested my muscle functioning, which was all fine. It will likely subside after a little while. Let's hope after, um, right now. 

I started this blog today. Mostly as a way to kill time, and have a diary of the experience. Not so much because I think it's a riveting story. I suppose it's a nice way to keep anyone who is interested updated. I've never blogged before so I can say this experience has led to me trying something new, and that's always a good thing. 

I'll post daily updates from here on out, now that I've gotten you up to date. 

I'm off to the other side of the couch now. The cushion on this side is getting a little smushed. Send me your book, TV, and movie recommendations please! 

The Journey Begins

WEEK ONE: 

Monday, June 8 (Fall From Glory Day)
I was bouldering at the local climbing gym with some friends. After reaching the top of a wall, I started to down-climb. My hand slipped from one of the holds, and I fell about 8ft to the mat below. I heard a crack in my left ankle, and knew almost instantly this was more than a sprain (something I have done MANY times over the years playing sports). 

My friends helped me to a bench, where I immediately had it elevated and iced. Got home a short while later thanks to my friend Jen, with an assist by my boyfriend, Shawn, who carried me into the house. Got the leg elevated and iced - also got several glasses of wine in me while I pondered whether to go to the ER. Decided to wait until morning. Took 800mg of IBU and called it a night. 

Tuesday, June 9 (Diagnosis Day)
After a two-hour wait at urgent care, we were informed the X-ray machine was broken. Really?! C'mon! Thankfully, Shawn just so happened to have a podiatrist/orthopedic surgeon connection through his boss. A few phone calls later, and I was scheduled to see Dr. Jason Novick later that afternoon. 

YIKES!

Got some food, some crutches, more ice...and finally while sitting in his office, the news that I was going to need ORIF surgery to repair a displaced fracture of the fibula and tibia. I was very surprised by this, and needless to say, very worried and sad. I am a single mother of two who earns her living as a massage therapist. How could I be out of work for two months and survive financially? I was reeling from the shock. Dr. Novick splinted my ankle and scheduled me for surgery the next evening. I left feeling pretty low. 

Wednesday, June 10 (Graduation AND Surgery Day)
My daughter's 5th grade graduation ceremony was at 9am. I managed to actually drive myself there (lots of IBU in my system). I got through the ceremony ok, and hobbled my way over to the reception area. We had an entire mommy/daughter day planned (pedicures and a movie), and she had been looking forward to this for a long time. I couldn't bear to disappoint her. 

We made it to the pedicure place, and I sat with her while she got her toes painted (blue with tiny white flowers!). I was tired, in pain, hungry (couldn't have food past 7am that morning). We started to walk to the theatre when the Dr. called and said they could move my surgery up. I said I could be there by 3 (movie was at 12:30). The movie was starting in 5 minutes...I was feeling rushed and so uncomfortable. I was so conflicted and SO sad to let my daughter down. This was her special day. But I couldn't do it...I started crying and I told her what I was feeling. We had a good cry together, and she said "let's go home, mama. I don't want you to hurt anymore." Which, of course, made me cry more. But I pulled it together, and we ended up snuggled up at home on the couch watching a movie there until it was time to leave for the hospital. Her dad came to pick her up and we parted ways after lots of hugs and kisses.


My friend, Kelly, took me to the hospital. I got checked in around 3 for the paperwork, and they took me to a room to change and answer a million questions. Shawn arrived a little after 4. I was laying in a bed, getting the IV hooked up. Kelly was also asking questions on my behalf, and getting quite irritated that they wouldn't give me a Valium to calm my nerves! She's a great advocate. :) 

They wheeled me into the surgery unit just before 5 - this is when I really started feeling nervous and scared. The anesthesiologist and the surgeon came in to explain how the drugs work, what to expect upon waking, etc etc. I laid there for about a half hour before they took me into the OR. I was actually waiting in the recovery room, so during that half hour I got to listen to three other patients come out of their anesthesia. One guy was pure comedy - you know all those YouTube videos of people drugged up and making hysterical commentary? That was this guy. He was demanding pop tarts, asking what cocktail he was on ("they should carry this at the Red Room!"), telling the nurse she was hot and asking her on a date, and then asking where the bus stop was because he needed to catch a bus home. I was grateful for the show he was putting on because it took the edge off my anxiety! It was also precisely why I told Shawn and Kelly they were not allowed to take any video of me coming out of surgery. ;) 

Waking up

I was taken into surgery around 5:30. I think I came out around 7. I woke up pretty gently...it just felt like waking from a VERY deep sleep. The nurse was very sweet. Told me once I could keep my eyes open and answer questions clearly, then they would let Shawn come in. I sat for another 15 minutes or so, and then Shawn appeared over my bed. I was SO happy to see him!! Over the course of the next half hour, they took out the IV and helped me get dressed. The surgeon came in to show me the Xray of my new robo-leg, and said that surgery went very well. I now have a plate and six screws holding my ankle together. 

ROBO-MOM

I was wheeled to the car around 9, I think. I was quite surprised at how quickly I was "waking up." I didn't actually feel too groggy by the time I got home. Just HUNGRY. Shawn went out and got us some food. Regarding pain at this point, I had a nerve block in my lower leg in addition to the general anesthesia. I was told this would last 10-24 hours, so I really wasn't feeling any pain. My foot was fat and numb. I actually slept pretty well that night with my foot propped up on several pillows. Not the most comfortable, but I was incredibly grateful for that nerve block!

Thursday, June 11 (Another Graduation Day)
I woke up with my leg still numb (yay!). Shawn went out in the morning and rented me a wheelchair. He also made breakfast, cleaned, did laundry, shuttled kids around, and drove us to my son's 8th grade graduation. He is a total rock star. If I wasn't already sure that I am madly in love with him, this would have sealed it. 

Getting ready for the graduation proved quite tiring, but it was good to get cleaned up and feeling semi-human. The graduation was at 4:30, and it was a really nice ceremony. I am very proud of my not-so-little man, who will be off to high school in the Fall. We had shaded side-lined seating (disability perks!), and since the nerve block was still in effect, I was feeling pretty good. 

We had a mellow dinner at home, and by about 10pm that night, I started to get a little wiggle in my toes. The doc had told me this was the first sign of the block wearing off, and to start my pain meds right away to stay ahead of the ensuing pain. I popped two Norcos and slept pretty well. 

Friday, June 12
Yikes - the nerve block is officially done. I woke up with a fair amount of pain, took two more Norcos. The most uncomfortable part of the injury at this point is the swelling in my foot. My foot feels like it's made of iron. The pressure of the swelling is really not fun. I keep it elevated and iced for the better part of the day. 

Shawn went back to work, and my daughter was at a birthday party all day. So my son got to be my caregiver. I would text him whenever I needed something (as he was upstairs in his teenage boy lair)...food, water, ice pack change, let the dog out, more food. He was a pretty good sport. 

I watched a movie (Boyhood - excellent!), answered emails, napped, read my book. And truly realized this was going to be a LONG haul. Two more Norcos before bed. I probably could have gotten away with just IBU, but I really didn't want to wake up in pain in the middle of the night. 

Saturday, June 13 (Dressing Change Day)
Kelly took me in to see the doc for a dressing change. Got to see his handiwork - looked pretty good! He said the amount of swelling I had was normal. Stitches looked good. He cleaned it up and put a fresh dressing on it. Back on went the splint and ace bandages. Told me to come back in two weeks to (hopefully)

FRANKEN-MOM

have the plaster cast put on. He told me I could probably work with the cast on - it would really depend on if I felt comfortable doing it and how bad the swelling gets if I do. Right now I can't really imagine working in the cast. If I had a desk job, yes. But giving massages?? I'm not seeing it. Perhaps my financial situation will dictate that decision. :/ 

Spent the rest of the day doing the usual - alternating positions on the couch, in a chair, on the deck. My friend, Michelle, stopped by with a lasagna. YUM! Another friend, April, stopped by with flowers and chocolate. YUM! Love the food gifts. :) 

Keeping foot iced and elevated. The swelling always starts to feel worse around 8pm. Took two Norcos at bed again. Slept ok. I never sleep on my back so it kind of sucks getting used to that, but I'm sleeping better than I thought I would. 

Sunday, June 14
The kids were picked up by their dad in the afternoon. A friend of ours, Paul, came by to visit for awhile. It was a beautiful sunny day - nice to sit on the deck with some company. 

Spent the rest of the day doing my usual - rotating from the couch, to the other side of the couch, to the chair, to the deck, back to the couch. Exciting stuff.

Decided to launch an Indiegogo fundraising campaign to help cover the costs of income loss and medical expenses. I debated on this, but the truth is, I need the help. I have no shame in asking for help when I need it, and I only ask when I REALLY need it. This is one of those times, and I'm incredibly grateful to those who have offered their support in any way. It all counts so thank you!! 

Well friends, this concludes Week One of the journey...